This Aint No Dear John, Amanda Seyfried

Four years ago, if you would've came to me and said,

 "Hey in four years you will be married, have a baby, go through a deployment cause you are an Army wife" Id say, "Bitch your'e crazy"  (I had an attitude problem back then)

Its crazy what just a year can do to you. When I started dating Sexy Beast, I honestly didn't think this would be the man that steals my heart and convince me to become a..cue the Army Strong song... Military Wife. So when I got engaged at Fort Benning in 2010, I started watching this show called Army Wives. "Oh what fun and interesting!" I thought. Little did I know, the real military life is NOTHING like this show.

I had NO idea what was about to happen.

*let me note here that everyones situation is case by case. How I handle being a military wife may not be how you handle it. You may not agree with what I have to say. I am probably a blabbering idiot for I know. So take this all with an open mind. Our husbands fight for freedom of opinion. And this is mine. 

What I have learned, like most things in life, is this life is what you make it. If you mope around that there are so many things you cant control and that your husband is going to be gone 75% of your marriage, than life is going to suck. Plain and simple. But from the beginning I was determined not to be one of THOSE women. I knew in the beginning that there were going to be times that are hard and will test my marriage. It will make me want to scream and say IM MOVING TO CANADA. But these moments are what make you. You can sit around and complain that the money is tight, your husband wont be there for you to give birth, that hes out in the field and the kids are sick, that hes gone overseas and you miss him, but is this going to change anything?? When Spaz was two weeks old, Sexy Beast had to leave for field training for about 3 weeks. When Sexy Beast deployed last year, Spaz was 7 months old and not even sitting up on his own-late bloomer. When he came home, Spaz was walking running, talking screaming, yelling for dadda, tantruming, etc. His first birthday, first words, first steps, all had come and gone. His dad had missed it all, so who was I to complain and cry that my world sucked? Im not the one overseas sleeping in a bunk and fighting for my life and the ones I loved. I was here with our baby, watching him grow everyday. Many women can complain about this life but we have it pretty good. One of my biggest pet peeves- and I will admit I used to be one of these women but have learned- is when military wives compare their soldier husband to "civilian" husbands and claim that their husbands are better. Dont get me wrong, I love my husband for what he does. Not a lot of men can handle what he does everyday. Im very proud of him to say the least. I beam when I see him on that field lined up with his fellow men. But my husband isnt better than yours. If you come to me in sadness that your husband or boyfriend is away for the month or away at college, Im going to feel for you. Whether your husband is gone for a day or a whole year, it sucks. We as military wives should never put our noses up at anyone just because their husbands dont wear the US Army patch or any other military patch for that matter. Who are we to judge your situation?

Maybe its my unique take on the military lifestyle that makes the danger and long separations easier. When we first moved to Fort Stewart we lived in a small apartment on post. EVERYTHING was wrapped around the Army and his job. It can give you a great sense of community, or it can drive you insane. It got to the point that I didnt even remember what it was like to have interests of my own. Everything was about his job and even our home wasnt an escape for either of us. It was hard to seperate family and job. So after moving off post we just seem to have a better control of things. In the Army its hard and nearly impossible to really have control over anything. If the Army says you are moving here, then you are moving here. If they say you are deploying, then you are deploying. You roll with the punches. My advice to newcomers- keep an open mind and lift your hands in the air during the rollercoaster bumps-screaming "weeeeee" is optional but fun. What works for the Sexy Beast and I is that we keep his job seperate. The Army is his job. Not who he is. Who he is: an amazing husband that would do anything to give me what ever I wanted. A father who would take a bullet for his children. And a son who works hard to make his family proud. So when you look at me, dont just see an Army wife. Im a mom and wife first. The "army" is just a label that comes with the territory.

I will admit though. Nothing can truly explain that feeling of seeing your husband after almost a year of him being over on the other side of the world. Its something you do just have to experience.

Im very proud of all our men and women who serve, the ones who stand beside them holding their hands and hearts, the children cheering them on, and the ones who support our troops everyday. This country would be a very different place without your courage.