The Shut Down

I should note- this is not my picture. Its from Yahoo. Dont sue me.

The shut down. This big government shut down. We, as a family, have personally gone through three of them (including this one). Two of which our Beast's paycheck was withheld. Im not sure on all the details but this one his pay shouldnt be effected- thankfully. But there are many who will be out of jobs. That stinks... but I have to be honest. To those spouses who complain and protest about their empty bank account, you deserve a face palm. I agree that the government shut down is sucky. And I feel bad for those civilian workers on post that get laid of during this time. But to the spouses sipping their coffee gossiping about the shitty government- are you the one putting on that uniform and going to work unpaid (this was past circumstances). No.. so keep it to yourself. Hey, despite what you may think, Im not perfect. Surprising, I know.. shake it off. But I keep my complaints to me husband (and my sista- you know who you are) cause why else to people get married?

Some ladies like to complain about all the crap that comes with being a military spouse. Or complain about the unpredictable-ness of the Army. But complaining about not being able to control your military life is like complaining that oranges are orange. Its in the name, folks. When you married your soldier what on earth did you think was going to happen? He would be home by 5pm to gladly help with the screaming kids and rub your back? If you have this, I will pay you for your secret. Did you REALLY think they would fly him home in time for your delivery? Last I checked, birth didnt last a week. Eve ate the apple. Not the whole damn orchid.

AKA Show of false hope

When I first married the Beast, I watched the show Army Wives, thinking "hey this doesnt look so bad".... you know- the show where the commanding general's wife is friends with the private's wife. Totally realistic right? All wives who have been military associated for more than a couple years are completely laughing right now. If you walk into this thing thinking its going to be sunshine, daisies, and butterflies flying out of your ass, then you are in for a rude awakening.

My rude awakening wasnt when we couldnt go home for Christmas. It wasnt when we couldnt take a honeymoon. It wasnt even when the beast left for his camping trip over east. It was when he came back. I thought it would be like an over played YouTube video. Happy music, slow motion run, jumping into his arms and licking his face- Oh wait, thats the dog videos. Either way. Hell yah I jumped into his arms. But were there kisses and face licking? Dont worry, dad, there wasn't. It was actually alot harder for us to feel "married" and "together" again. You turn your emotions off and try to be this rock for almost a year, and you become so good at it that you never teach yourself how to turn it all back on. It was uncomfortable for me to just sleep in the same bed. I kept waking up going, "Who the hell is laying next to me." It caused alot of arguments, resentful lashes, and not letting Beast help parent Spaz. But to get over these speed bumps, (and there are a lot) you must learn something from them. I learned that I cant turn off my emotions while hes gone to make things easier. Not only is it confusing for my kids, but its hard to feel normal around that man I wear a ring for. Though it took longer than I thought, the beast and I over came this wall I put up. He knocked it down and made sure to hide the bricks before he leaves again. This time I will cry when I want to cry. I will laugh when I want to laugh. I will enjoy my time to myself and work on goals for myself without feeling guilty. And I will count down the days until I get to jump into his arms and lick kiss his face again.

So yah, the government may shut down. Stop complaining and find a silver lining. Thats what you HAVE to do for your lover in uniform. Here are my silver linings- cause they rock- maybe you can agree or find a new one.

He is staying late or over night in the field
Hell yes! While hes camping and roasting s'mores, I get to watch Pretty Little Liars without someone in the background saying, "why do you watch this show? Do you like lesbians? That would never happen. Its that guy who's A, I looked it up." Now you may watch your shows and eat like a pig in bed without judgement

His uniforms smell like corpse in dirt and his gear is EVERYWHERE
You get to look at him in uniform... let me repeat- you get to look at him in uniform

The government is shutting down- and he may not get paid
You get to pretend you are broke college students together. Ok maybe thats not a silver lining (if you are smart you have prepared for this) You eat some roman noodles for a bit and dont go out to buy that cute GAP sweater, but you will have a new found respect for that thing you call budget

He's deploying.... Again
You get to save money for something really special you both want with that little extra pay each month he gets for being shot at (to put it bluntly)... new car? vacation? big screen tv? pony? You can cook whatever the hell you want- and for a mild vegetarian like me, this is AWESOME. You can set goals for yourself that you may not have done or had motivation to do while he was here. The only time I lose weight is when he's gone.

And the big one- when he is back, you will love him more than you thought possible. You are reminded why you married that man. You can run and jump into his arms- but please PLEASE dont lick his face. And wear panties.

So suck it up, ladies... could be worse.  You could be married to Anthony Weiner.

5 Months

How far along? 23 weeks

Total weight gain: WELL.... lets just say the doctor told me im gaining weight too fast. To lay off the pastries. And that im just about to the 25 total pounds im suppose to gain this WHOLE pregnancy..... Bitch I like my cupcakes
Maternity clothes? Lord yes. Cant get enough of them. This basketball I swallowed it a real pain to dress
Stretch marks? Just ones from Gabe
Sleep: Thankfully my husband stopped snoring. Yay! But he likes to kick me all night long (The baby not the man)
Best moment this week: When Spaz let me sleep more than 4 hours.... Lord Thank You!
Miss Anything? Being skinny and having more of a wardrobe to choose from 
Movement: In the ribs. In the bladder. In the stomach. He loves me.
Food cravings: Raw meat. Thats right. Raw meat
Anything making you queasy or sick: Meat. Ironically. But I eat everything in sight. The people sitting next to me in nutrition start to look delicious after a while.
Gender: Monster boy
Happy or Moody most of the time: I think im happy. The beast may have a different story. I have major mood swings. Almost everything makes me cry. Talking about ionic bonds in chem makes me tear up. Not of joy. 

Looking forward to: Evicting this kid. 

FALL IS HERE! Yay! Colorado is in the winter- I cant wait! I pulled out the pumpkins for decorating. Frames up Spaz's fall master pieces. Lit the spiced candles. And started twiddling my thumbs waiting to get a tree.. I suppose I have to wait until Thanksgiving dont I? 

Spaz is slowly getting used to the idea of a new baby brother. He likes to life my shirt for the world to see so he can announce "BABY!!!" real loud.. Then he bolts and smacks the baby real hard. Lovely. But then he goes to his dad and lifts his shirt to scream "BABY!!!" and smack his belly too. No, Spaz, theres no baby in there. Just muscle. And steal. 

And just as Spaz is throwing another tantrum, throwing a toy, screaming at me NO, and I wonder what the hell was I thinking having another baby? He crawls up on my lap and makes faces. Then pulls me in real close and says "love you!"