My Baby is an Alien

Today I had an ultrasound for my first the trimester tests. The hospital was gorgeous, they had the Today show on the TV, and there was valet parking... But my ultrasound tech drove me INSANE! I didnt start the whole process out very smoothly either. I almost dropped my pants thinking I wasn't big enough for the belly wand yet. I was corrected promptly.... He wouldn't stop talking about his million dollar homes and how my generation is "udderly screwed" because of our educational debt. After listening to him talk for 30 minutes about how my generation hopeless, all I could think was shut up. I just want to see my baby. I came here for you to put the ice cold gel on my belly (which you lied and said it was warmed up so you already lost my trust) swipe around your magic wand- particularly pushing on my bladder- and tell me how beautiful my alien baby is. But I politely nodded along as he talked about growing up on a texas farm, why his grass is greener than the neighbors, literally, and his ex wife (who in my opinion stayed on the farm in Texas to keep away from his inspirational speeches)

Parasite Update: She (my prediction) is growing a week ahead of schedule. She measures almost 13 weeks, and looks like me I think- If I were an alien from Pluto. We had to wait a couple minutes for her to settle down and stop flipping around. She was probably sick of him talking about his green grass too. Now that I think about- I wonder what kind of grass he was talking about..... This is Colorado after all.

I also learned that Colorado doesnt have the same humor as me. Im too much of a smart ass for my own good. I was already uncomfortable from my pants debacle, that when the doctor came in to explain my results from the ultrasound and said "looks like baby has two arms and two legs" I replied, "Oh THANK GOD"... No one found humor in that. Where is my husband that laughs inappropriately when I need him

Its ok. I think she looks a bit creepy, too. I just made sure there were no hooves. When the tech switched over the 3D and showed me this I exclaimed, "Oh God its an alien"... not even a smirk. I thought it was hilarious.