Would a wonderful mother write about her son on his birthday? Yes, she would... Did I? No... His birthday came and gone and I didnt even think about it. Thats just one reason why you should nominate me mother of the year, folks. He's two. Which means terrible twos. Which means Ill be tearing my hair out but that started at 12 months. So now its just normal. And I have come to find out that its called Terrible Twos because f*&^ing nightmare doesnt start with "Ts". The Kraken has arrived.
I love my child.
But on an upside of things, I am not 4 months along! Yahoo! And FINALLY it doesn't feel like I am hungover all day everyday. Just on the verge of starvation 24/7. Now that I said this, I will probably go puke my kidney out in an hour.
Now- In the spirit of upcoming fall and Halloween, I have some uber weirdness to share. I have considered I am having a demon child. Not only do I have dreams of getting krunk-ass-wasted and forgetting Im pregnant, but I also have dreams of my child busting out of me. Much like the horrid Twilight scene where that chamellion actress, K-stew, gives birth. And dies. However, what made me consider having a priest present during birth was that I crave raw meat. Not a steak, not a hamburger, RAW MEAT. It doesnt get more creepy than that.... Or does it? I should note that when Im pregnant weird things happen.
When Spaz was in utero, the fire detector would go off at 11am on the dot every morning. And at, no joke, 3 am..... Anyone who has ever watched a scary movie has chills. Even when I switched out new batteries, it continued to do this. Ok, so the maintenance guy said I had the batteries in backwards. Whatever. He lies. It was something else. Now with this delight, our lights go on and off on their own. I was laying in bed (and of course the beast was gone over night) when I had the urge to pee- this information is vital to the story line- so I went to our half (caveman) bath but when I went to turn on the light.. nothing. Hmm must be a dead bulb. So I went to my bath. As Im about to go to sleep, the damn bath light came on! So not a dead bulb... a dead person. Great. I thought this was a fluke but folks- it happened twice again already. So I either have a ghost that just needs to pee, or I have a punk of a spirit. Beast says hes not scared, but he gets awfully "angry" when I tell him my friend is standing next to his side of the bed. Im a sweet wife.
Im just thankful my child doesnt talk to someone named "Toby" and jumps out windows. I will not be putting cameras up. What I dont know, I maybe dont want to know. Im not sure if I believe in ghosts or not. But I just try to ignore it. In all seriousness, I think that you can create the energy yourself. If you believe it, than its there. I could talk for hours with my aunt about this- you know who you are- and people would think we are wave-smoke-in-the-air and chant sort of people. Maybe this is karma from when I was a little girl. While others were playing Princess, I used to play Witch with my Rainbow Haired friend, Jess, and I wanted a "witch book of spell" so not realizing what I was doing, I covered my Bible....... Yah... I know. Yeesh. Needless to say my grandmother had quite the talk with me.
While we are this topic of weird shit thats happen to Dani, let me tell you a story that I told my husband a while back that made him step back and say, "Uh... how has this never came up in the four years we have been together?" Last year in Georgia while we were in our house with Ma, I had a couple incidents. I woke up in the middle of the night with this weird feeling. While I was in that half-awake half-asleep state, I looked over across from Beast and saw something standing in the doorway. Tall. Dark. But couldnt make out what it was. But I wasnt necessarily scared. Its like I knew it wasnt there but it was. Yes this makes sense, shhhhhh, and listen. I fell back asleep. Not thinking much of it, it happen again a couple months later. I was driving home from school when I started to think about the thing in my door. Was I scared? Was I drunk? Was I crazy? Or should I just stop watching scary movies. I thought harder and realized- you know this has been happening for a long time. Like YEARS long time. From the earliest ages I can remember waking up and something in my room or doorway. My earliest age I can remember is around 7 years old because my brother was a newborn baby. At that age I can remember be scared out of my damn mind! Too scared to even cry for my mom. But when I did have the courage, I would get this pounding vibrating sound in my head. Then I would just wake up or something. Years would pass but I remember having it happen again multiple times. Yet I never really thought about it being connected. But that moment in my car it hit me that its the same feeling. The same image. The same pounding in my head. The same surreal feeling I had like it wasnt a dream.
After telling my husband this, he looked at me and I could tell what he was thinking,
"Oh God. This is like the part of Paranormal Activity where you are thinking if she wouldve just told him this crap before they moved in together- he was would be alive. Im going to die tonight"
Update: The Beast is still living. I havnt thrown him into a camera.
Am I a religious person? I would say yes and maybe more spiritual than anything. Go-to-church-every-sunday religious? Honestly no. But I personally dont believe you need to go to church to be religious and spiritual. I have what I believe in and that partly helps with whatever I "see" or think I "see" in those half-awake moments. Is it evil? Than why dont I feel more scared? Is it an angel? Why dont I feel that comfortable? Do I have a tumor, or need therapy? Well, I do have alot of headaches and its known my family MAY be a little on the cray cray side. For now, Ill just stick with letting it go. I dont feel like I need to call a priest so thats a good sign.
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