Terrible Twos

Terrible twos……… Lord give me strength and have mercy on my soul

Caution: Im going to note right now Im going to have a potty mouth. This isn't a post about the "joys" and "glow" of parenthood….

Anyone who's had kids are cringing at the reminder of this curse. They know exactly what I'm talking about. Except they don't start at two. OH NO. For my Spaz, they started when he turned 1. Literally on his birthday, he woke up and went from this….

Awww.. So sweet right?

to this….

I don't own this photo. Found it on Pinterest under "zombie toddler"

It probably doesn't help that I'm more hormonal than a knocked up cow during July. I was so hormonal today, I began crying in my car when I heard the song, "we wish you a merry christmas". However, hormones or not, this whole "terrible two" curse that every parent have just flat out SUCKS. Go ahead and hate me but Im going to be the honest parent and say that these times make me look at myself in the mirror and think WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINK HAVING KIDS. Thankfully my kid does something sweet to make me say- OK… Ill put up with you for another day.

Yet, I still find myself having Mother-of-the-year moments. Today when Spaz earned himself a time out, mommy's belly threw her balance off and accidentally smacked Spaz's head on the door frame. Needless to say I didn't put him on time out in fear he just thought I hit him on the head for being naughty. I felt awful. Yes. I cried. Don't worry, Grandma, he got lots of loving from me after that. But hey- he behaved for quite a while. But this is not an okay to go smack your kid's head on the wall when they piss you off.

Ahh… The terrible twos. The curse that causes your sweet angel to become a head twirling demon. The throwing of toys, slapping mommy, screaming at the top of his lungs, freaking out over wanting everything and nothing at the same time, not eating anything I make him, biting, and NOW saying "oh shit", would make the strongest of women sit in a closet and drink. Or in my case- eat frosting from the can.

I can't tell you how many times Iv finally snuck away and sat down to relax, and then I hear a scream, a bang from a toy being thrown, then an obnoxious think that sounds like. "mommy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hep You!!!!!!!!!!"- in Spaz language thats AKA Mommy help me I have done something that i could very well take care of myself but I can't reach over two inches and grab that car because my arms and legs are broken and if I reach for it I may die.  

Oh how about going to the bathroom alone? Whats that like? Or taking a shower with out someone banging on the door? Because God forbid I have some privacy to wipe my own ass.

So to some it up.

Dear Spaz,
It is your 18th birthday and you are now an adult. I want you to look in the mirror and thank God that you are here today and that I didn't strangle you or drop you off at the doorstep of a church to be exorcized when you were two years old. However, you were so damn cute to make up for the times you slapped me, bit me, and threw your toys because- hell, why not. You did have some great qualities to make up for the times you drove me so crazy I changed your name to Pain In My Ass. You were a very polite toddler, especially to strangers. You always said please and thank you. And after your time-outs you always hugged your mommy and said Sorry. You took very good care of mommy's belly and always gave me kisses good night along with your Love You's. You behaved in public (for the most part) and were very respectful to your teachers and peers. And even after your time-outs, you still loved me as much as I love you. Now please, move out. Go to college. Become very successful. Happy. Don't marry someone crazy. And put your mom and dad in a great retirement home with candy stripers, shirtless cabana boys, and endless prune juice. And when my memory starts to fade, and you tell me stories of growing up- skip the terrible twos.

Love,
Your mom who probably will get gray hair before 30 thanks to you and your brother.

At the end of the day, Spaz, I would never give you up or not want you. Your terrible twos are teaching me to be strong and patient for those screaming women in labor at work. I see what you're doing, buddy. Thanks

Tis the Season to be… Fat.

Good lord, I'm 29 weeks and I still have a couple months left! Im sitting here in bed blogging- when I should be studying Anthropology- feeling like Im about to live the scene of Alien where the thing pops out of his stomach! Or was it his chest? Either way- this belly is so tight its about to split open, and my son is going to start screaming,

"free at last! free at last! Thank god almighty, Im free at last!" 

I woke up this morning trying to dress myself and begin bawling. All my t-shirt don't cover my belly anymore. My tanks barely cover.. and I'm only 7 months pregnant.. WHAT THE HELL. I may be carrying a litter. I do have a random obsession with getting Spaz a cat for Christmas. Currently the brat inside of me is kicking my ribs and squeezing my bladder. Can you call babies assholes? No? I didn't think so.

This pregnancy, however, has brought out the sweet side of my Beast. Here is some, "Sh*t my husband says"…

"You better get the XL.. for your growing belly."

"Wow you got huge over night."

"You came in like a wrecking ball.." (he was sleeping in the room)

"Weren't you about this big when you were full term with Spaz?"

"He is probably a nine pound baby."

"Ugh, I feel like I'm getting so fat." (I was holding a knife. He was feeling VERY ballsy. And almost lost them as well)

We taught Spaz about the baby in mommy's belly. But it has, of course, backfired tremendously on me. He now thinks everyone has a baby in their belly and that the belly is called a baby. So he goes up to women and points to the belly to say, "baby". I then have to embarrassingly explain he thinks bellies are called babies and that my son is in fact NOT calling them fat.

And Tis the Season to be jolly sick. Spaz has been fighting a cold for about a month. His immune system apparently is enlisted in the Canadian Military. And I, folks, have thrush. Yah, that crap breast fed babies get…. in the mouth. On the tongue. Its so gross… oh you don't know what it is? Its a yeast infection. IN THE MOUTH. You're welcome. Quick go throw up then come back. How did I get this you asked? Well my sweet mother thought it was fun to inform me its a precursor for HIV patients. Thanks, mom. Well since I just had my 3rd test last month, I can safely say THATS not it. And I haven't used any dirty needles lately. Even the Beast got sick. And he is the most pathetic one in the house when sick. But Ill let him get away with it since he only gets sick once a year. And nothing is cuter than a sick animal. Right?

Ugh, back to the grind of school work. Its never ending….. Anyone having trouble sleeping? Go pick up a Chem book.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Shut Down

I should note- this is not my picture. Its from Yahoo. Dont sue me.

The shut down. This big government shut down. We, as a family, have personally gone through three of them (including this one). Two of which our Beast's paycheck was withheld. Im not sure on all the details but this one his pay shouldnt be effected- thankfully. But there are many who will be out of jobs. That stinks... but I have to be honest. To those spouses who complain and protest about their empty bank account, you deserve a face palm. I agree that the government shut down is sucky. And I feel bad for those civilian workers on post that get laid of during this time. But to the spouses sipping their coffee gossiping about the shitty government- are you the one putting on that uniform and going to work unpaid (this was past circumstances). No.. so keep it to yourself. Hey, despite what you may think, Im not perfect. Surprising, I know.. shake it off. But I keep my complaints to me husband (and my sista- you know who you are) cause why else to people get married?

Some ladies like to complain about all the crap that comes with being a military spouse. Or complain about the unpredictable-ness of the Army. But complaining about not being able to control your military life is like complaining that oranges are orange. Its in the name, folks. When you married your soldier what on earth did you think was going to happen? He would be home by 5pm to gladly help with the screaming kids and rub your back? If you have this, I will pay you for your secret. Did you REALLY think they would fly him home in time for your delivery? Last I checked, birth didnt last a week. Eve ate the apple. Not the whole damn orchid.

AKA Show of false hope

When I first married the Beast, I watched the show Army Wives, thinking "hey this doesnt look so bad".... you know- the show where the commanding general's wife is friends with the private's wife. Totally realistic right? All wives who have been military associated for more than a couple years are completely laughing right now. If you walk into this thing thinking its going to be sunshine, daisies, and butterflies flying out of your ass, then you are in for a rude awakening.

My rude awakening wasnt when we couldnt go home for Christmas. It wasnt when we couldnt take a honeymoon. It wasnt even when the beast left for his camping trip over east. It was when he came back. I thought it would be like an over played YouTube video. Happy music, slow motion run, jumping into his arms and licking his face- Oh wait, thats the dog videos. Either way. Hell yah I jumped into his arms. But were there kisses and face licking? Dont worry, dad, there wasn't. It was actually alot harder for us to feel "married" and "together" again. You turn your emotions off and try to be this rock for almost a year, and you become so good at it that you never teach yourself how to turn it all back on. It was uncomfortable for me to just sleep in the same bed. I kept waking up going, "Who the hell is laying next to me." It caused alot of arguments, resentful lashes, and not letting Beast help parent Spaz. But to get over these speed bumps, (and there are a lot) you must learn something from them. I learned that I cant turn off my emotions while hes gone to make things easier. Not only is it confusing for my kids, but its hard to feel normal around that man I wear a ring for. Though it took longer than I thought, the beast and I over came this wall I put up. He knocked it down and made sure to hide the bricks before he leaves again. This time I will cry when I want to cry. I will laugh when I want to laugh. I will enjoy my time to myself and work on goals for myself without feeling guilty. And I will count down the days until I get to jump into his arms and lick kiss his face again.

So yah, the government may shut down. Stop complaining and find a silver lining. Thats what you HAVE to do for your lover in uniform. Here are my silver linings- cause they rock- maybe you can agree or find a new one.

He is staying late or over night in the field
Hell yes! While hes camping and roasting s'mores, I get to watch Pretty Little Liars without someone in the background saying, "why do you watch this show? Do you like lesbians? That would never happen. Its that guy who's A, I looked it up." Now you may watch your shows and eat like a pig in bed without judgement

His uniforms smell like corpse in dirt and his gear is EVERYWHERE
You get to look at him in uniform... let me repeat- you get to look at him in uniform

The government is shutting down- and he may not get paid
You get to pretend you are broke college students together. Ok maybe thats not a silver lining (if you are smart you have prepared for this) You eat some roman noodles for a bit and dont go out to buy that cute GAP sweater, but you will have a new found respect for that thing you call budget

He's deploying.... Again
You get to save money for something really special you both want with that little extra pay each month he gets for being shot at (to put it bluntly)... new car? vacation? big screen tv? pony? You can cook whatever the hell you want- and for a mild vegetarian like me, this is AWESOME. You can set goals for yourself that you may not have done or had motivation to do while he was here. The only time I lose weight is when he's gone.

And the big one- when he is back, you will love him more than you thought possible. You are reminded why you married that man. You can run and jump into his arms- but please PLEASE dont lick his face. And wear panties.

So suck it up, ladies... could be worse.  You could be married to Anthony Weiner.

5 Months

How far along? 23 weeks

Total weight gain: WELL.... lets just say the doctor told me im gaining weight too fast. To lay off the pastries. And that im just about to the 25 total pounds im suppose to gain this WHOLE pregnancy..... Bitch I like my cupcakes
Maternity clothes? Lord yes. Cant get enough of them. This basketball I swallowed it a real pain to dress
Stretch marks? Just ones from Gabe
Sleep: Thankfully my husband stopped snoring. Yay! But he likes to kick me all night long (The baby not the man)
Best moment this week: When Spaz let me sleep more than 4 hours.... Lord Thank You!
Miss Anything? Being skinny and having more of a wardrobe to choose from 
Movement: In the ribs. In the bladder. In the stomach. He loves me.
Food cravings: Raw meat. Thats right. Raw meat
Anything making you queasy or sick: Meat. Ironically. But I eat everything in sight. The people sitting next to me in nutrition start to look delicious after a while.
Gender: Monster boy
Happy or Moody most of the time: I think im happy. The beast may have a different story. I have major mood swings. Almost everything makes me cry. Talking about ionic bonds in chem makes me tear up. Not of joy. 

Looking forward to: Evicting this kid. 

FALL IS HERE! Yay! Colorado is in the winter- I cant wait! I pulled out the pumpkins for decorating. Frames up Spaz's fall master pieces. Lit the spiced candles. And started twiddling my thumbs waiting to get a tree.. I suppose I have to wait until Thanksgiving dont I? 

Spaz is slowly getting used to the idea of a new baby brother. He likes to life my shirt for the world to see so he can announce "BABY!!!" real loud.. Then he bolts and smacks the baby real hard. Lovely. But then he goes to his dad and lifts his shirt to scream "BABY!!!" and smack his belly too. No, Spaz, theres no baby in there. Just muscle. And steal. 

And just as Spaz is throwing another tantrum, throwing a toy, screaming at me NO, and I wonder what the hell was I thinking having another baby? He crawls up on my lap and makes faces. Then pulls me in real close and says "love you!"

Who's that standing in my door?

Would a wonderful mother write about her son on his birthday? Yes, she would... Did I? No... His birthday came and gone and I didnt even think about it. Thats just one reason why you should nominate me mother of the year, folks.  He's two. Which means terrible twos. Which means Ill be tearing my hair out but that started at 12 months. So now its just normal. And I have come to find out that its called Terrible Twos because f*&^ing nightmare doesnt start with "Ts". The Kraken has arrived.
I love my child. 

But on an upside of things, I am not 4 months along! Yahoo! And FINALLY it doesn't feel like I am hungover all day everyday. Just on the verge of starvation 24/7. Now that I said this, I will probably go puke my kidney out in an hour.

Now- In the spirit of upcoming fall and Halloween, I have some uber weirdness to share. I have considered I am having a demon child. Not only do I have dreams of getting krunk-ass-wasted and forgetting Im pregnant, but I also have dreams of my child busting out of me. Much like the horrid Twilight scene where that chamellion actress, K-stew, gives birth. And dies. However, what made me consider having a priest present during birth was that I crave raw meat. Not a steak, not a hamburger, RAW MEAT. It doesnt get more creepy than that.... Or does it? I should note that when Im pregnant weird things happen.

When Spaz was in utero, the fire detector would go off at 11am on the dot every morning. And at, no joke, 3 am..... Anyone who has ever watched a scary movie has chills. Even when I switched out new batteries, it continued to do this. Ok, so the maintenance guy said I had the batteries in backwards. Whatever. He lies. It was something else. Now with this delight, our lights go on and off on their own. I was laying in bed (and of course the beast was gone over night) when I had the urge to pee- this information is vital to the story line- so I went to our half (caveman) bath but when I went to turn on the light.. nothing. Hmm must be a dead bulb. So I went to my bath. As Im about to go to sleep, the damn bath light came on! So not a dead bulb... a dead person. Great. I thought this was a fluke but folks- it happened twice again already. So I either have a ghost that just needs to pee, or I have a punk of a spirit. Beast says hes not scared, but he gets awfully "angry" when I tell him my friend is standing next to his side of the bed. Im a sweet wife.

Im just thankful my child doesnt talk to someone named "Toby" and jumps out windows. I will not be putting cameras up. What I dont know, I maybe dont want to know. Im not sure if I believe in ghosts or not. But I just try to ignore it. In all seriousness, I think that you can create the energy yourself. If you believe it, than its there. I could talk for hours with my aunt about this- you know who you are- and people would think we are wave-smoke-in-the-air and chant sort of people. Maybe this is karma from when I was a little girl. While others were playing Princess, I used to play Witch with my Rainbow Haired friend, Jess, and I wanted a "witch book of spell" so not realizing what I was doing, I covered my Bible....... Yah... I know. Yeesh. Needless to say my grandmother had quite the talk with me.


While we are this topic of weird shit thats happen to Dani, let me tell you a story that I told my husband a while back that made him step back and say, "Uh... how has this never came up in the four years we have been together?" Last year in Georgia while we were in our house with Ma, I had a couple incidents. I woke up in the middle of the night with this weird feeling. While I was in that half-awake half-asleep state, I looked over across from Beast and saw something standing in the doorway. Tall. Dark. But couldnt make out what it was. But I wasnt necessarily scared. Its like I knew it wasnt there but it was. Yes this makes sense, shhhhhh, and listen. I fell back asleep. Not thinking much of it, it happen again a couple months later. I was driving home from school when I started to think about the thing in my door. Was I scared? Was I drunk? Was I crazy? Or should I just stop watching scary movies. I thought harder and realized- you know this has been happening for a long time. Like YEARS long time. From the earliest ages I can remember waking up and something in my room or doorway. My earliest age I can remember is around 7 years old because my brother was a newborn baby. At that age I can remember be scared out of my damn mind! Too scared to even cry for my mom. But when I did have the courage, I would get this pounding vibrating sound in my head. Then I would just wake up or something. Years would pass but I remember having it happen again multiple times. Yet I never really thought about it being connected. But that moment in my car it hit me that its the same feeling. The same image. The same pounding in my head. The same surreal feeling I had like it wasnt a dream.

After telling my husband this, he looked at me and I could tell what he was thinking,
"Oh God. This is like the part of Paranormal Activity where you are thinking if she wouldve just told him this crap before they moved in together- he was would be alive. Im going to die tonight"

Update: The Beast is still living. I havnt thrown him into a camera.


Am I a religious person? I would say yes and maybe more spiritual than anything. Go-to-church-every-sunday religious? Honestly no. But I personally dont believe you need to go to church to be religious and spiritual. I have what I believe in and that partly helps with whatever I "see" or think I "see" in those half-awake moments. Is it evil? Than why dont I feel more scared? Is it an angel? Why dont I feel that comfortable? Do I have a tumor, or need therapy? Well, I do have alot of headaches and its known my family MAY be a little on the cray cray side. For now, Ill just stick with letting it go. I dont feel like I need to call a priest so thats a good sign.

My Baby is an Alien

Today I had an ultrasound for my first the trimester tests. The hospital was gorgeous, they had the Today show on the TV, and there was valet parking... But my ultrasound tech drove me INSANE! I didnt start the whole process out very smoothly either. I almost dropped my pants thinking I wasn't big enough for the belly wand yet. I was corrected promptly.... He wouldn't stop talking about his million dollar homes and how my generation is "udderly screwed" because of our educational debt. After listening to him talk for 30 minutes about how my generation hopeless, all I could think was shut up. I just want to see my baby. I came here for you to put the ice cold gel on my belly (which you lied and said it was warmed up so you already lost my trust) swipe around your magic wand- particularly pushing on my bladder- and tell me how beautiful my alien baby is. But I politely nodded along as he talked about growing up on a texas farm, why his grass is greener than the neighbors, literally, and his ex wife (who in my opinion stayed on the farm in Texas to keep away from his inspirational speeches)

Parasite Update: She (my prediction) is growing a week ahead of schedule. She measures almost 13 weeks, and looks like me I think- If I were an alien from Pluto. We had to wait a couple minutes for her to settle down and stop flipping around. She was probably sick of him talking about his green grass too. Now that I think about- I wonder what kind of grass he was talking about..... This is Colorado after all.

I also learned that Colorado doesnt have the same humor as me. Im too much of a smart ass for my own good. I was already uncomfortable from my pants debacle, that when the doctor came in to explain my results from the ultrasound and said "looks like baby has two arms and two legs" I replied, "Oh THANK GOD"... No one found humor in that. Where is my husband that laughs inappropriately when I need him

Its ok. I think she looks a bit creepy, too. I just made sure there were no hooves. When the tech switched over the 3D and showed me this I exclaimed, "Oh God its an alien"... not even a smirk. I thought it was hilarious. 

Week 11

How far along? 11 weeks

Total weight gain: No weight yet. Lost 5 lbs actually. See my 6 pack? No? Its turned into a Keg
Maternity clothes? No.. Its rare I wear any clothes. Come back to me in a month
Stretch marks? Just ones from Gabe
Sleep: Im trying not to blame my husband for no sleep. Im trying not to blame his snoring, or twitching, or moving, or groaning, or breathing. Its just my uncomfortable stage. Right?
Best moment this week: The day I only puked once! And when I got my computer- Thanks hubby
Miss Anything? Not having to vomit every 5 seconds.
Movement: I thought so... but its too early. So its just gas. Lovely. 
Food cravings: Everything in human sight. But pizza and Peanut M&Ms and Starbucks Strawberries & Creme are on the top of the list. 
Anything making you queasy or sick: Meat. Ick. I cant even be in the kitchen when Beast eats.
Gender: We are hoping a girl but we should know in a few weeks. 
Symptoms: Let see... nausea... nausea... sore hips... ligament pain... nausea... consistant hunger... and nausea
Happy or Moody most of the time: I think I am fine. But ask Beast and its a much MUCH different story. I'll admit. Im more irritated lately than anything. 

Looking forward to: Finding out the gender! Then I can paint that dang room. And Christmas. It brings food. And presents... 

Thanks Universe and ClearBlue

Some women just have this sick six sense for telling when their body has changed and they're pregnant. Some women don't even know they are until they have to crap so bad a baby shits out (this is also known as a major medical case of denial) And then there are people like me who have the universe for some assistance. Like the signs of an impending doom of the Apocalypse.

Three weeks after Sexy Beast and I moved to Georgia, our friends came to us with news that they were expecting their first child. I burst into uncontrollable tears. Tears of happiness? Maybe..... but probably not. I wasn't sure why I cried really. The next day I fell asleep in the middle of the day. Oh but Dani, you must have been tired... Tired?! I didn't have a job. I didn't have school. What on earth would I be tired from? Watching The Kardashians? But the pregnancy test was negative. I hadn't even missed a visit from my beloved Aunt Flow. However, Beast insisted that something was wrong. It was his "nicer" way of telling me I was a raging psycho monster and answers were needed before he condemned me.

So the next day he brought me home three pregnancy tests and a candy bar.

"Something is wrong with you. Pee on these expenses sticks and eat the Snickers."- Beast

POSITIVE, POSITIVE, PREGNANT, YUM (the snickers not the stick).
The next summer I was blessed with the Spaz.

But it was the summer of 2013 that I was clued in that the universe was my six sense. After months of the Beast begging me for another baby, God decided that he had enough of his whining sweet requests, and began the three signs. THREE WEEKS after moving into our new home, my little brother called me to let me know I was going to be an Aunty for the first time. Right on cue, I burst into tears. These were actual happy tears but if you knew me at all, you'd know that I don't happy cry. So that was weird. The worst part- I was in the grocery store- no no no.. I was in the Commissary! (Army Grocery Store) I was probably the 12th woman to cry in the store that week. I thought this felt a little too familiar so I took a test when I got home. Negative... But the Beast didn't miss a beat when he insisted I take another test the next day since I continued to fall asleep in the middle of conversation. Positive- Positive-Pregnant But no snickers.

That wasn't even the scary part....... I still had to tell my mom. 

So now I will finally get back to sitting on my ass and blog. Because I dont sit on this thing enough. Instead I stand and shovel food in my mouth 24/7 or Im bent over the toilet seat admiring the peach color. Funny how the miracle of growing a child makes you feel like you need to start your Will or cut out your stomach with a dull rusty spoon.Yes... Im not one of those,

"Pregnancy is a joyous miracle with the glow of a growing subtle belly.."

For me, thats bullshit. I know that some people cannot have children and I am very blessed but if bitching fat pregnant ladies offend you- go click that red "x" in your upper right corner (or left if you are cool).... This isn't a "glowing" journey in pregnancy. Im growing a parasite, folks...
*this is where I'd like to point out that I do really love my children... despite my bitching. But if you've been pregnant and have children, and have never thought to yourself "WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING" then you, my reader, are a liar. 

My Son is Telepathic

Thats right. You read it. My son is telepathic. Spaz is going to be two years old in July and he is still not speaking words. BUT Spaz can understand what we are saying and we have learned his language of "no-speak-inese" by telepathy. I have come to this conclusion from a particular experience: Last night I was in the kitchen when I heard Spaz's pitter patter feet flying through the hallways. I knew he was standing in front of Sexy Beast, not because I heard him talk, but because I heard Beast say;

"What do you need help with?"- Beast. I heard nothing come from Spaz's voice box. Yet then I heard:
"What is in your room that you need help with?"-Beast. ALOT of these moments happen in our house since Spaz isnt saying words yet (other than Mama, Dadda, and Bella- my moms mutt)
 

How did the Beast know that Spaz needed help in his room? Could it be that EVERY time Spaz plays with his bus, he rips the door off like a maniac with over stimulated adrenaline?

Could it be that Spaz just came out of his room and came straight to dad?

Could it be that my dropping of the cell phone on Spaz's head as a newborn create a telepathic snap in his brain?

So at Spaz's 24 month check up, when Dr. Anderson asks if he is saying words yet, Ill say,

Buts its ok. He is telepathic. And thats just more fun.

Now onto what my cousin, Ali, is waiting for. Yes, we bought a house. Crazy? Maybe. But it feels SO good to say, this is my home. I can do whatever I want to it. PLEASE pipes dont burst. Rats and bugs stay away! But it has been great. I did have a few lot of melt downs the first weekend of painting, however. NONE of the paints I chose turned out to be the same color that dried on the can. NONE. But thank the heavens above they grew on me and I like them. Another awesome plus- we have hardwood under our carpet! It was exciting but if you ask the Beast about ripping up the carpet, his eye starts twitching and he starts to swear uncontrolably. My son is telepathic and my husband has turrettes.

The house is a 5 bedroom 2 1/2 bath (master, Gabe's room, Army/baby room upstairs and other two rooms downstairs. We call them Mandy's room and grandma's room) with a huge backyard (roses, raspberries, and bulb bushes included!) and a finished basement (mancave for the Beast. Or if you are me than you just call it- the cave. For his inner neanderthal)

So here are some pictures...


Gabe's Details



Living Room

Living Room Details

Gabe's room

Master Room



Dining Room

Well there will be more to come... Still need to get dining chairs and put our dining room together. Also, we need a rug for the living room. Oy... And ya ya.. i will get back to that challenge.. I live with turrettes and telepathy. Give me a break. 

 

 

 

Life's a Beach.. Deal with it.

Hmm Day 8- What are your three passions?

Do yoga pants and spongebob count? If I was my husband I would say.. Call of Duty. Im sure after he reads this he will look at me and say, "yah yah"... (we dont like to say shut up in this house so Yah Yah is our nice way of putting it)

Hmm.. One passion would be of course my family. Its been my greatest achievement so far. 5 years ago, if you were to tell me that I would be a family girl now, I would have laughed at you and bought you a shot. Now its rare to even see me drink... I have no time I feel like. But my babies are my life. Dont tell anyone but I look forward to expanding my little monster house. Just waiting for a good time. A "good time" was 6 months ago for Beast. I think he would be singing a different off-key-tune if he had to carry 50 extra pounds for 10 months then push that sucker out of something that should never have something that big pop out. He whines when he gets a sun burn.

Hmm.. another passion is pinning getting inspiration for my fix ups. I like doing everything myself. Im a DIY-er. So far I have made Spaz a bench, a toy box that looks like a treasure chest, and fixed up a dresser to a bright fun statement piece in his room. Once I have my own house, I will be renovating it myself (with the help of some professionals here and there. Gotta give them something to do so they arent sitting at work bored) I like attempting to be one of those super moms I hate so much. Its a complicated relationship.

Hmm.. my last passion is oddly enough- the journey of becoming a mom. I tell my friends and family all the time that I want to delivery a baby myself so bad. I love when my friends and family members come to me with a pregnancy or new mother question. It makes me feel like maybe Im doing something right in this department. Now Im not saying I know it all-Though I feel like I do when talking to the Beast. There is plenty that I haven't experienced or didnt read about or didnt learn in school. But then Ill refer you to someone else or ask my go-to nurse mom. So keep the gross and disgusting questions about what in the hell is coming out of you coming my way. Un-nurse Dani is here!

On a side note, we took our last trip to the beach today.. Sad Face!! (the picture above is of me telling Beast to stop being inappropriate)



I was excited and self-concious because I love the beach but I also had donuts on top chocolate all night and day. Its been almost two years since iv been in a decent bikini. It was around 80 at Hilton Head, South Caroline and beautiful. Be jealous Minnesota friends.. be jealous.


However, we all got burnt!! Mother of the year award, folks. Yes, I did put sunscreen on my Spaz but he managed to get burnt in random spots, including the bags under his eyes, his cheeks (not the ones grandma squeezes), and his EYEBALLS. WHO THE HELL gets their EYEBALLS burnt? I feel awful! He looks like a good combo of crack baby meets allergies. He looks like he's been sitting in a circle down in Eric Foreman's basement...  What do I even do for my poor baby? I just kept snuggling him and saying sorry...

I think Spaz had the most fun, though. The waves were huge but they were no much for the Beast-in-training. He kicked every last wave's ass and took its name! One knocked him flat on his face but he stood tall and proud screaming "I will have my revenge on thy H2O!!" On our way back up to where everyone was sitting, two pairs of boobs in bikinis walked by. Spaz did a double take and like the male he is, immediately started chasing after them. Luckily they were very nice and said hello. But when they walked away, Spaz didnt follow me like I hoped for. No. My little "man" followed them all the way down the beach. Dont worry- mom was right behind him. As I always will. Forever. Remember that little ladies... Remember.

Spaz also was enlightened to the wonderful cuisine of sand. Lovely, salty, sand. I never thought I'd have to say, "Spaz, Stop eating the beach!" 47 times in 10 mins. Even after denying him his delectable sand, and third wheeling his hunt for babes, he still loves his mama. And gave me plenty of salty kisses to remind me.

                                                Until Next Time.. xoxo

Day 7

Ok so its more like day 15.. Id like to blame my 3 week headache. Or the moving. Or the Georgia weather. Or Snooki. But there's really no excuse. I have not kept up... at all... But I promise when you find out the surprise, you'll understand why I have been busy. Well, some of you will.

Day 7: What is your dream job and why.

My own reality TV show. Wouldnt that be just easy? I get paid to just... do nothing. I could get spray tans, have a huge ass, and date rich duece bags that we love to hate. Oh wait. Thats already covered by The Kardashians. As much as I want to hate them, I LOVE that show. Its my guilty pleasure. I admit it. For shame.

I have wanted to be so many things. A lawyer, a stunt car driver, a singer, a personal shopper, a pediatrician, and even a plastic surgeon- that was mainly because my mom really wanted a boob job. Who wouldnt want a free boob job?

But Id have to say my fantasy dream job would be an actress on a popular TV show. I think it would be alot of fun. Id want to play a sci-fi character or be on a good comedy sit com.. something like Supernatural or Rules of Engagement.

My realistic dream job: a midwife. I want to be there for women and men from preconception to babies two week check up. One day I want to actually delivery a baby. I was going to school while Beast was deployed. I was starting my pre-nursing classes. Its hard because I want to be a nurse in the L&D department but at the same time I want to be home with my babies while they are babies. I know that I should go to school now and do it while im young.. but then why do I have this ache inside when I think about not being home with them? I feel guilty though like Im letting society (aka my mother) down by not going to school for nursing. I do already have a degree you know. Its a 2 year in Human Resources. I want to work. I tried looking for a job in the area, but I have had no such luck so far. Maybe Im just ment to be at home with my kids until they are in school. What is more important? I like being a stay at home mom but then why do I feel guilty about it?

Aww... life. What a rush.

What is your dream job? What has stopped you from attaining them? I think Beast's dream job would be a professional baseball player... I wouldnt mind that uniform either on him. Just saying.

Happily Ever After

Do you remember the Disney movies?

"and they lived happily ever after"

But honestly, what happened after the wedding? Did Sleeping Beauty gain 50 pounds from pregnancy? Did Prince Charming leave the door open when he peed or eat pistachios in bed? Did Arial leave her tampon box in the bathroom for some reading material for Prince Eric? Well if this were real life than yes..

To all those newlyweds, the honeymoon doesnt last forever. Now Im not going to sit here and write about the downside of marriage. Thats not it at all. But I think alot of married people my age forget this. They think once that spontaneous, cant keep your hands of eachother, google eyed moments are gone that there is nothing. Thats not what marriage is. Marriage is growing together. Its finding out that he/she isnt perfect and it makes you love them more. Men are not perfect. Even Channing Tatum and Jake Gyllenhaal. Surprised- i know. Did you know that there is a part of the brain in a man that was never fully evolved? Its the part that controls what they hear and see. For example. When Beast sees the bathroom, he sees a cave. A dirty, dark, cave. When he hears me say, "Lets do some laundry, cook dinner, and watch a movie." He hears, "Ill do the laundry, you warm up dinner, and pick out a scary movie that will make me not want to sleep for a month." Its not his fault ladies. Its evolution. Well, antievolution.
*I should side note for the Sexy Beast's sake that he does do the laundry. Im just OCD so most the time I do it so I dont have a panic attack. But he tries. 

But at the end of the night after he leaves the door open in the bathroom, farts while watching movies, and folds the laundry the wrong way, he still rubs my back and kisses my forehead goodnight. He still holds my hand in public and hugs every day after work. He asks me how my day was and opens the door for me. He never walks infront of me and always behind to protect me. He's a great dad and good husband. Remember that even though men have their quirks, they are still the men we fell in love with. Its natural to grow and change as we grow up. We just have to remember to grow together, not apart.

Day 6

So we are on to day 6: What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

This is a good tie between when Nate left for his first deployment and when I had Gabe. WHY WHEN YOU HAD  GABE? Baby Blues. Postpartum depression is a real thing and its something not alot women talk about. I knew about it before I had Gabe. A couple of my family members had a mild case of it and I have heard it can run in the family. But I personally think everyone experiences it one way or  another. Whether its just a little crying at night from exhaustion or full out not eating unhappiness, PPD is a serious thing. I did everything they told me to do. I breast fed Spaz right away after birth. They laid him on me when he came out. I slept when he slept (or at least tried. It doesnt help when you have every nurse around the block coming in to see the tiniest baby on the floor). I ate when I was hungry and kept up on my liquids. I showered and got dressed to help me feel good. But it was still there. I still felt this gut-renching emptiness at the pit of my stomache. I loved this baby so much but at the same time I felt so sad.

I cried alot at night when Beast was asleep and Spaz was screaming because he was so hungry. My obnoxious Dolly Partons probably scared the crap out of him. This was my theory. I wanted to nurse so bad but I was so exhausted. I never woke beast up because i felt like I was the only one who could do it right. I had to do it all. It didnt help that my weight wasnt melting off like everyone says. Breast feeding takes the baby weight off.... Ya, right... If it does then you better high five your mom for some great genes. Eventually the gut-tightening blues started to dissipate and I was feeling alot better. I look back now and still feel guilty for even having them. I keep telling myself it wasnt my fault. That my hormones were so screwed up. That the exhaustion, lack of food, weight issue, and not letting anyone help me was just getting the best of me.

Even though the blues disappeared, I still would get anxious when Spaz wasnt even in the same room as me. My mother-in-law came to visit when Spaz was 2 weeks old. She told me to get out of the house and run some errands. (pretty sure this was her sneaky way off getting some one on one time with this pink bundle of screams) He was pretty dang cute and tiny. I was only gone an hour but my heart was pumping. I felt sick and shaky. What was wrong with me?! Have any of you experienced this attachment issue? Im alot better now but even when my mom offers to take Spaz for a week, I get anxious and nervous. This will stop with the next, right??

Day 5

Ok.. So anyone who knows me, knows that my memory isnt worth shit.. Sorry for the pay-per-view channel language. I posted day 4 on the 26th and it is, what?, the 30th?! Easter eve?! Way to stay on top of things, Dani. No wonder I got knocked up one month into marriage. Oy.

So we will just pretend that I have been on schedule.
Day 5: What are 5 things that make you happiest right now. 

Aw this shall be fun. Less "damper dan" than the rest of the days.



Thing 1: Well this is just an obvious (well maybe not obvious to the beast since he's been on my spinal nerves lately) But thing 1 is definitely my boys. Its been hectic around here and it's causing little spaz to be a big spaz. But we have these miracle wonderful moments where he is calm and just wants to snuggle with mom and dad. Sexy Beast has been busy trying to process out of Fort Stewart. When I say process, its putting it mildley. The beast has been quite stressed with all the paperwork and gear cleaning. Sometimes it can carry over into the house and the tension rises. But he never forgets to hug me when he is home and kiss me goodnight. So I cant hate him. Maybe give him evil looks and smart ass comments. But no hate.

Thing 2: We move to Colorado Springs in less than a month. While it breaks my heart to think about being so far away from my mother and little brother that Iv lived with now for over a year, I know they will be ok. Well at least I hope so. Ill pray everyday for my mothers patience and for my little brother to not burn down the condo. You  may be laughing- but Im totally serious. Here's to good fire alarms in her place. Georgia can be beautiful but its never felt like a home to me. Thats partially my fault. I never really let myself warm up to it and make it a home. Thats something that is really important in a military family. You dont stay in one spot for very long. So, you better make a home where ever you are. The saying goes, "Home is where ever the boots are laying". Iv always liked Colorado and we have heard nothing but great things about the area. I love the snow. YES, I said it. After living in the south for this long, I have decided that I am an actual snow bunny. I will take it over the rising 100 degree humid summers here. So here's to a new start! And more day dreaming of my Colorado home. (plus it makes it 100 times better my really good friend, HK, is going to be arriving in the fall)


Thing 3: Writing in my blog. I know what your thinking- WHAT WRITING??! I know. Iv been slacking. Staying on schedule MAYBE shouldnt be in my resume. Though if Im getting paid for it, you know Im probably putting more effort into it. Is that bad? I do love to write. Especially about my chaotic life that has SO many great adventures coming towards it. Both scary and exciting. Please excuse me though. My mother just moved out of my house, my son is screaming and not talking so we are working on that, the Army has thrown up everywhere in my house (and we all know my OCD is screaming like a tortured SAW victim), and Im trying to pack our stuff slowly. Not to mention its Easter now.. Where did that come from?! I promise that I will write more and more interesting crap. Just wait til I crap open a bottle and talk about the brain of males. Did you know that theres a part of their brain that has never evolved from the caveman days? Its the part that controls what they see when they see a bathroom... more on that later.


Thing 4: Is it sad that I had to think about another thing that makes me happy these days?! Haha I think its more that my brain is drained rather than I dont have a fourth thing. Im sure Beast is praying this is true. Cooking and baking. I want to be the worlds best mom with the worlds greatest cupcakes.. and not gain a damn thing from eating them. Too much? Ok, Id like to master the art of baking and making a good meal. Iv been working on my cooking skills since I got married but it didnt really go into high gear 'til the beast was camping in Afghan land last year. When we first got married, I experimented with booze. Alot. I put wine into EVERYTHING. I cooked LOTS of pasta. And LOTS of banana bread. Well, we look back now and realize- it showed. Haha. We both love food and love homemade stuff so we have been working on finding recipes we love and making it less "guilty". One thing I wont mess with though- banana bread. Ill stick to my grandmas recipe. You do NOT mess with a recipe from grandma. She even makes her own flour. She puts me to shame. Sometimes I can cook great- but then my single lady worthless cooking skills kick in at times. I made chili once and burnt it. BURNT it. HOW do you burn chili? Talent. I also made zuccinni bread zuccinni mush once. Gross. I made mac'n'cheese for the bro a couple months back and well, forgot about it and by the time I got back to it, the water was gone. And the smoke alarm was going off. Lets see.. well if you ask Sexy Beast how my baking is, he would laugh and say 98.56% of my stuff tastes like pancakes. I have no idea how I manage it but it does. I tried making pretzels, buns, and bread- all tasting like salty nasty pancakes.. My great grandparents owned a bakery and were master bakers. So it would be real nice if that skill would kick in now please.


Thing 5: Well I know what thing 5 is.. But I cant say. You will have to find out later. For most of you, its not what you are thinking. That first thing that pops in your mind.. its not that. But its something great. And will eventually lead to that. That all made sense, you just dont know it did.

Day 3 and 4..

OF COURSE I would forget one day. But give me a break- not only are Spaz and I sick with some killer colds, but my little brother who is living with me started throwing up yesterday. I figured something bad was happening since he kept going to his room to nap the afternoon before this. Then he kept falling asleep on the couch. Next thing I know he's screaming my name. Nothing like some nice vomit to make a brother and sister get along and take care of eachother.

Day 3: What is the greatest amount of physical pain you have ever endured?
Well, go ahead and guess it. Im sorry to scare you pregnant people reading this but for me.. it was labor.. Aunt Flow was put into unemployment for 39 weeks without pay and she was back for some revenger. The cramps are similar to menstraul cramps but about 120x's worse. You'd think the most painful part would be that human coming out of you but the worst is the contractions. The actual delivery part wasnt so bad. But hey, it wasnt all SO bad. Otherwise I wouldnt be planning on doing it again.

Day 4: List 5 things you would tell the 16-year-old self.

• That boyfriend of yours is a stoner. He will always be a stoner (at least for as long as you are going to care) and you need to get away. He may be a nice guy. But come on- you can do better.
• Stop coloring your hair dark. You are a redhead. Embrace the ginger world, honey.
• Cuddle and love your baby brother as much as you can. He wont stay tiny, chubby, and quiet for long.
• Focus on school and college instead of parties and boys (your man isnt even at this school). All that brings is drama and even though it seems like the world is full of drama and chaos- it doesnt matter.
• Pick your battles with your mother and try to get to know her better. Although it seems like things couldnt be worse, she is trying her best and only wants you to succeed in life. You may not understand now but sooner than you think, you will be a mom and learn that theres nothing a mom loves more than her kids. Even if you dont feel like she does, she loves you and thinks the world of you.

Theres lots of things I say I would do differently at a teenager. But I wouldnt change anything in reality. If I went down a different path, maybe I wouldnt be where I am today. I wouldnt have my husband and then I wouldnt have my son. Dont think about what could have been or think about how you would have done things differently. Think about what you learned. This is the wisdom you will pass to your children and grandchildren.

Fear Factor

It is Day 2 people..I have made it two days. Be very happy that I am even writing in this damn thing because I was hit by a bus then ran over by a train today. On top of that, I am helping my monster mother move into her condo... I am a great daughter. Gabe got me sick and now I got my little brother sick. We are having a competition- who can be more irritating and whiney. Im in the lead. Ill take it... its my only accomplishment today.

Day 2: Name 3 legitimate fears and how they have become fears.

So are they saying things like spiders and death by log truck are not fears?? Or fear that the boogie monster is going to grab my leg if its poking out of my blanket? Because those ARE fears.

Id say one fear is the dark. Yes, I know, Im 23 years old and scared of the dark. Go ahead and laugh but I will admit it. I have to either have the TV on or the hallway light on when Im falling asleep. I think its the fear of the "unknown" when its dark. Im the type that does like needs to be in control of 99% of things. And not being able to see what is going on really makes me uneasy. It's not necessarily the creepy crawlies in my closet (because I have a beast lying next to me to protect me. He has a normal body temp of 100 degrees so he is a hot box. I think they are too grossed out to get near his sweaty hotness- I dont blame them) and its not that I watch scary movies (like my mother likes to say), Its more I dont know what is going to happen. So maybe its a fear of not being in control? Or Im just crazy or its because my mother would turn my night light off if I didnt go to bed good and I would cry because I was so damn scared.... Thanks mom.
*You cant call yourself a good parent unless you've provided your child with enough issues for a full therapy session. 

Another fear I have is dieing during birth. When I was pregnant with Spaz, I saw a movie that depicted how more people are dieing in the hospital giving birth than at home. Then they continued to say one of the main reasons women die during birth is because they hemorrhage- wouldnt people hemorrhage more at home with no medical doctor, you ask? Dont get me started, it got me questioning it too... BUT LORD HAVE MERCY. I cried and said HELL NO I WONT GO. I told Sexy Beast I couldn't do it so he would have to somehow give birth for me. Then I told him if he let me die, I would haunt him for the rest of his life and would judge every parenting decision he made .. I was a sweet pregnant lady. Im still very scared of this. And even more I guess because of my biggest fear:

Losing my husband or child. Losing anyone I love would be terrible. But I have a sickening fear of losing Beast or Spaz. I never knew how much I could love someone until I held Spaz for the first time and saw Beast holding look into his eyes.

When Beast was deployed, I held it together pretty good. I never really cried. Even when he left, I felt sort of ... well nothing really. There was a ringing in my ears which I knew was from holding tears back. But I felt like I needed to keep it together- not only cause I dont like to show emotion in public but I needed to be strong for Spaz. He needed to feel that everything was okay and daddy was fine. Just like trying to explain a homecoming to someone who has no experiance with one, watching your loved one leave on a big white bus to who-knows-where is hard to explain. You dont really feel like they are going to somewhere very dangerous at first. That takes a bit to kick in. And if you are one of the lucky ones, you never do. You dont feel impending doom or loss. If you are me, you  just feel... numb. You feel a bit lost. A bit broken. Like a part of you is missing and you can physically feel it. I know some people broke down at that moment. I saw others holding crying women in pain. I didnt bring anyone with me except Spaz (and my little brother. He didnt have a babysitter). I didnt want my mother with me because I dont like showing that kind of raw emotion around her.
                 I looked around and everything was in slow motion. All I could really see was Spaz's face. He was only 7 months old at the time so his face was so innocent and unaware. He had no idea what was happening. All he was thinking was- Im hungry. Even then I didn't have much fear of losing Beast. It wasnt until I experienced my first black out that the numb turned to panic, pain, and fear. For those who are familiar with the military know that a Black Out is one of the worst things you can experiance. Hearing your door bell ring during one is even worse, but seeing the men in uniform when you open that door the ultimate pain.
                 I hadnt heard from Beast for an abnormal amount of time and when I talk to one of my friends she said that she hadnt heard from her soldier as well. I just knew what that meant. So I waited in the silence. The dark. The black. The door bell rang and it was only the UPS man dropping off a Creative Memories package for mom. I swear she got 213 of these while he was deployed. Thanks again mom. Thankful I heard back from Beast not too long after. Then came the email. The dreaded new message in my inbox from the company stating there was a casualty. It was just too close to home. I cried.     I cried for the wife that had to receive the flag. I cried for the children that wouldnt see their father on the field 8 months later. I cried for the mom who lost her son.
               I cant imagine losing a child but now that I even have one of my own- It makes the fear and pain worse. The thought makes me sick. But I have to remember its just a fear. I have alot of faith that Beast will make it home everytime and be his Sexy self because its not the end of the battle when he steps onto US soil. The battle just becomes a new one to conquer. I have faith that Spaz and my future little beasts will live successful lives. I have faith that they wont stick me in a creepy nursing home, but will instead build a lovely home for the Sexy Beast and I to keep eachother company when we become to old to wipe our own ass. Remember folks, when the kids are gone its just you and your coworker again. So dont forget to continue to build on that relationship. Always and Forever

Three fears. I have some little fears here and there that are dumb and I cant really explain. But I think these are pretty legit. Even the fear of the dark. Go ahead and deny it. But you know you make sure your feet are in the blanket at night.... 

Challenge Accepted

So I was on Facebook (surprise, surprise) and I noticed one of my old work friends, Katie, was going a sort of "daily challenge" on her blog. I thought. WELL, that sounds fun and it will help with my lack of motivation to blog lately since life is full of packing, cooking, cleaning, packing, and packing more. So I say challenge accepted. I found a good 30 Day Challenge that will either A) bore you to drink, B) enlighten you to something new, or C) maybe inspire you to do a challenge as well. I'd love to get to know you even more!

Day 1: List 10 random facts about you

1. I'm a ginger. Yes, folks, its true. I am a natural red head but dont be alarmed- I DO actually have a soul... (though Im sure Sexy Beast would argue that one after watching me go through labor).
2. I was carrying twins with Gabriel but lost one in the first trimester.
3. I used to sing in competitions and pageants until I was 15 years old. I was even in singing groups called The Seven Sisters and American Kids where I went to Missouri for a national competition.
4. Im a city girl at heart but would rather raise my babies in the country.
5. I dont drink. Ok well I dont really drink alot. Its rare to see me actually drinking since I got pregnant. I think its the combination of getting sick EVERY time I drink or if its the exhaustion. But if I was writing this 3 years ago- thatd be a different story.
6. I hate being scared but LOVE horror movies.
7. I cry at just about everything happy or sad. If I see a child crying on TV or someone giving birth- I cry. Absolutely every time. What have these hormones done to me?
8. I want 4 children but after giving birth for the 3rd time Im sure Ill say "F-this noise Im done"
9. Im obsessed with cupcakes and pinterest.
10. Im very hard on myself about my parenting. I am by biggest criticizer. But maybe this will calm down with age.. or more babies.

On a side note- Spaz had a speech therapy session on Wednesday. At his 18 month appointment, the doctor asked if he was speaking 10 or more words... well.. Not exactly. I am with him all day.. So he referred me to a therapist and it went pretty good. He is slightly below average for where he should be but she said that he is very socially intelligent and affectionate. He might be having a hard time hearing which would cause the mumbling, balance issues, and not pronouncing the words correctly. So off the the ENT we will go.... 

But dont fret- even with all the chaos and now the croup AGAIN, he is still keepin' it real...

 

My Blog Love Affair

So I was doing my ritual blog reading and on one of my favorite blogs I was mentioned in her "blog crushes".. and It got me thinking. Maybe I should share the care and tell you some of my favorite blogs to follow. Id like to say I have more of a life than just sitting around reading blogs, but in this transition of moving out of Georgia... Its not true.

Simple Kind of Wonderful is one of my close friends from High School down in the dirty Dena (Wadena for those who dont understand the Dena-way of speakin') We "worked" together at the local drug store, and I have shared some of the biggest laughs with this girl. Her spunk shines through her blog while she is sharing her weight loss journey (though this skinny bitch doesnt have much to lose), life as a mama to the cutest chubby cheeked girl, and wife to a.. wait for it ladies... FIREMAN.

Eat Yourself Skinny is a newer blog I have discovered through my sick sixth sense of a great blog! With a name like that, how can you go wrong? This, not only gorgeous woman but down-to-earth, chick shows off her amazing talent with a camera and a kitchen. She has great healthy recipes that not only taste good but wont make you feel like a dairy cow afterwards. She also has my kind of style! I follow her religiously on Instagram--> My newest obsession. I also recently discovered through Instagram, aka a creeper's dream app, that her brother is in the military. Well I cant not support a fellow military lover!

Little Baby Garvin- now this is one of my FAVORITE blog out there. I didn't start reading blogs until I came across a pin with her chalkboard recording of her growing bump. This is the girl that started it all! And because of her, I have also started yet another obsession of chalk! Have you ever read a blog and thought to yourself- "we would be best friends"!! from her hilarious takes on parenting and pregnancy, to her potty mouth and love of holidays- This woman is such a great blogger. She speaks the truth and doesnt bubble wrap the joys of parenting to her beautiful baby toddler girl, Harper. And she is also a Georgia resident- Cant go wrong with that.

I have lots of other blogs Im discovering and getting to know so I am going to keep up these crushes. I will report back once a month on my love affair of blogs! So go check these peeps out! You may find a new obsession.

Child Bride

It should be more like child groom. While I think I wasn't THAT young, 20 years old, my groom was 18 years old. Okay... Maybe that is pretty young. Yes the number is low, but how old were our grandparents when they got married? And their generations divorce rate seems to be slightly lower than ours...

I was doing my ritual nightly pinning one night and I came across this one..

At first I was a bit offended but then I couldnt get too dramatic since I would have said the same thing. That is until I met Sexy Beast

 

When I "met" him (Iv known him since we were crapping in our pants) I was 19 and just about to graduate college and he was 17, a senior in high school. Yes... 17. Now while some may read this with a huge red sign that says "Im a pedophile", lets keep this in perspective. Im only 2 years older. Just technically an adult before him. If people can marry their cousin and have sister wives and get paid to feed their child crack/mountain dew while letting her suck on a pacifier between pageant categories, I can date someone who's two years younger. I do remember jokingly asking the Beast's father, Senior Beast- and my boss lets not forget- if I could take him across the state boarder to have dinner with my girlfriends.

To those who say that getting married young is ending the fun early.. well all I have to say is, you dont know life until you've found the one you'd like to spend the rest of it with. So I dont go dressed up and go out to parties anymore until 2am. I dont play eye-flirt with the guy across the bar. I dont play games anymore and wonder "will he call? Does he like me?". And my life isnt care free and easy. I get dressed up to impress the man who tells me Im gorgeous with no makeup and peanut butter on my face. I play Apples to Apples while making dirty innuendos and laughing at immature things with my husband. I know he will call and that he loves me. Life is full of care and hard- but its the greatest challenge with the best reward.. A big fat diamond ring!   Just kidding... The greatest reward is a life with someone who makes me happier than fat kid locked in a bakery.

So maybe my life doesn't seem so glamorous and exciting to you. But sooner or later, that glamor runs out and the excitement will die down. Then what do you have? What are you leaving behind?

Staying in and watching movies on a Friday night may not seem so fun to you, but its home to me. Cooking your husbands favorite dinner may seem a bit lame to you, but its rewarding to me. Coming home to a husband Sexy Beast and baby Spaz instead of going out with girlfriends may seem boring to you, but its a dream come true to me.

So I look at this picture again and im not offended at all...

I leave the party before 10PM because I have something better at home.