My Son is Telepathic

Thats right. You read it. My son is telepathic. Spaz is going to be two years old in July and he is still not speaking words. BUT Spaz can understand what we are saying and we have learned his language of "no-speak-inese" by telepathy. I have come to this conclusion from a particular experience: Last night I was in the kitchen when I heard Spaz's pitter patter feet flying through the hallways. I knew he was standing in front of Sexy Beast, not because I heard him talk, but because I heard Beast say;

"What do you need help with?"- Beast. I heard nothing come from Spaz's voice box. Yet then I heard:
"What is in your room that you need help with?"-Beast. ALOT of these moments happen in our house since Spaz isnt saying words yet (other than Mama, Dadda, and Bella- my moms mutt)
 

How did the Beast know that Spaz needed help in his room? Could it be that EVERY time Spaz plays with his bus, he rips the door off like a maniac with over stimulated adrenaline?

Could it be that Spaz just came out of his room and came straight to dad?

Could it be that my dropping of the cell phone on Spaz's head as a newborn create a telepathic snap in his brain?

So at Spaz's 24 month check up, when Dr. Anderson asks if he is saying words yet, Ill say,

Buts its ok. He is telepathic. And thats just more fun.

Now onto what my cousin, Ali, is waiting for. Yes, we bought a house. Crazy? Maybe. But it feels SO good to say, this is my home. I can do whatever I want to it. PLEASE pipes dont burst. Rats and bugs stay away! But it has been great. I did have a few lot of melt downs the first weekend of painting, however. NONE of the paints I chose turned out to be the same color that dried on the can. NONE. But thank the heavens above they grew on me and I like them. Another awesome plus- we have hardwood under our carpet! It was exciting but if you ask the Beast about ripping up the carpet, his eye starts twitching and he starts to swear uncontrolably. My son is telepathic and my husband has turrettes.

The house is a 5 bedroom 2 1/2 bath (master, Gabe's room, Army/baby room upstairs and other two rooms downstairs. We call them Mandy's room and grandma's room) with a huge backyard (roses, raspberries, and bulb bushes included!) and a finished basement (mancave for the Beast. Or if you are me than you just call it- the cave. For his inner neanderthal)

So here are some pictures...


Gabe's Details



Living Room

Living Room Details

Gabe's room

Master Room



Dining Room

Well there will be more to come... Still need to get dining chairs and put our dining room together. Also, we need a rug for the living room. Oy... And ya ya.. i will get back to that challenge.. I live with turrettes and telepathy. Give me a break. 

 

 

 

Fear Factor

It is Day 2 people..I have made it two days. Be very happy that I am even writing in this damn thing because I was hit by a bus then ran over by a train today. On top of that, I am helping my monster mother move into her condo... I am a great daughter. Gabe got me sick and now I got my little brother sick. We are having a competition- who can be more irritating and whiney. Im in the lead. Ill take it... its my only accomplishment today.

Day 2: Name 3 legitimate fears and how they have become fears.

So are they saying things like spiders and death by log truck are not fears?? Or fear that the boogie monster is going to grab my leg if its poking out of my blanket? Because those ARE fears.

Id say one fear is the dark. Yes, I know, Im 23 years old and scared of the dark. Go ahead and laugh but I will admit it. I have to either have the TV on or the hallway light on when Im falling asleep. I think its the fear of the "unknown" when its dark. Im the type that does like needs to be in control of 99% of things. And not being able to see what is going on really makes me uneasy. It's not necessarily the creepy crawlies in my closet (because I have a beast lying next to me to protect me. He has a normal body temp of 100 degrees so he is a hot box. I think they are too grossed out to get near his sweaty hotness- I dont blame them) and its not that I watch scary movies (like my mother likes to say), Its more I dont know what is going to happen. So maybe its a fear of not being in control? Or Im just crazy or its because my mother would turn my night light off if I didnt go to bed good and I would cry because I was so damn scared.... Thanks mom.
*You cant call yourself a good parent unless you've provided your child with enough issues for a full therapy session. 

Another fear I have is dieing during birth. When I was pregnant with Spaz, I saw a movie that depicted how more people are dieing in the hospital giving birth than at home. Then they continued to say one of the main reasons women die during birth is because they hemorrhage- wouldnt people hemorrhage more at home with no medical doctor, you ask? Dont get me started, it got me questioning it too... BUT LORD HAVE MERCY. I cried and said HELL NO I WONT GO. I told Sexy Beast I couldn't do it so he would have to somehow give birth for me. Then I told him if he let me die, I would haunt him for the rest of his life and would judge every parenting decision he made .. I was a sweet pregnant lady. Im still very scared of this. And even more I guess because of my biggest fear:

Losing my husband or child. Losing anyone I love would be terrible. But I have a sickening fear of losing Beast or Spaz. I never knew how much I could love someone until I held Spaz for the first time and saw Beast holding look into his eyes.

When Beast was deployed, I held it together pretty good. I never really cried. Even when he left, I felt sort of ... well nothing really. There was a ringing in my ears which I knew was from holding tears back. But I felt like I needed to keep it together- not only cause I dont like to show emotion in public but I needed to be strong for Spaz. He needed to feel that everything was okay and daddy was fine. Just like trying to explain a homecoming to someone who has no experiance with one, watching your loved one leave on a big white bus to who-knows-where is hard to explain. You dont really feel like they are going to somewhere very dangerous at first. That takes a bit to kick in. And if you are one of the lucky ones, you never do. You dont feel impending doom or loss. If you are me, you  just feel... numb. You feel a bit lost. A bit broken. Like a part of you is missing and you can physically feel it. I know some people broke down at that moment. I saw others holding crying women in pain. I didnt bring anyone with me except Spaz (and my little brother. He didnt have a babysitter). I didnt want my mother with me because I dont like showing that kind of raw emotion around her.
                 I looked around and everything was in slow motion. All I could really see was Spaz's face. He was only 7 months old at the time so his face was so innocent and unaware. He had no idea what was happening. All he was thinking was- Im hungry. Even then I didn't have much fear of losing Beast. It wasnt until I experienced my first black out that the numb turned to panic, pain, and fear. For those who are familiar with the military know that a Black Out is one of the worst things you can experiance. Hearing your door bell ring during one is even worse, but seeing the men in uniform when you open that door the ultimate pain.
                 I hadnt heard from Beast for an abnormal amount of time and when I talk to one of my friends she said that she hadnt heard from her soldier as well. I just knew what that meant. So I waited in the silence. The dark. The black. The door bell rang and it was only the UPS man dropping off a Creative Memories package for mom. I swear she got 213 of these while he was deployed. Thanks again mom. Thankful I heard back from Beast not too long after. Then came the email. The dreaded new message in my inbox from the company stating there was a casualty. It was just too close to home. I cried.     I cried for the wife that had to receive the flag. I cried for the children that wouldnt see their father on the field 8 months later. I cried for the mom who lost her son.
               I cant imagine losing a child but now that I even have one of my own- It makes the fear and pain worse. The thought makes me sick. But I have to remember its just a fear. I have alot of faith that Beast will make it home everytime and be his Sexy self because its not the end of the battle when he steps onto US soil. The battle just becomes a new one to conquer. I have faith that Spaz and my future little beasts will live successful lives. I have faith that they wont stick me in a creepy nursing home, but will instead build a lovely home for the Sexy Beast and I to keep eachother company when we become to old to wipe our own ass. Remember folks, when the kids are gone its just you and your coworker again. So dont forget to continue to build on that relationship. Always and Forever

Three fears. I have some little fears here and there that are dumb and I cant really explain. But I think these are pretty legit. Even the fear of the dark. Go ahead and deny it. But you know you make sure your feet are in the blanket at night.... 

Super Moms Suck

Pinterest is one of my biggest addictions.

At least its not crack, right? As a military wife, I know that my dreams of being a home owner are far ahead of me, so the best thing right now is to conger up ideas on how to recreate my dream home into "renter friendly" ways. As I scroll through hours of eye-candy-for-a-housewife (I swear I actually do productive crap everyday other than Pin) I come across things like- How to make your baby's food for a year and potty train them before their 1st birthday. How to pump enough milk to have a refrigerator stacked full of milk and never feel like a constant milk machine. How to bake an apple pie from scratch while holding your screaming teething child. How to build your child's bunk bed from scratch. Or how to get that six pack back after your 5th child.

I cant help but think- HOW do these moms do it all? Have you ever seen the movie "I don't know how she does it" with Sarah Jessica Parker? First off, GREAT movie for moms. Dads, its not the movie you are thinking it is going to be. Sorry. Anyways, this women is a career women with a large corporate company who attends her children's parent teacher conferences and bakes for the school bake off. The women who pin these things and actually do them while continually smiling suck. Super moms suck. Don't get me wrong, thats great you can juggle it all. You can work 40 hours a week, make homemade meals that are good for you and the kids LOVE; you can shower your husband with love and affection every night so he doesn't feel neglected; you can bake apple pies from scratch and keep that six pack; all while never neglecting any chore around the house. But you make all the rest of us "normal" parents feel like plankton in the sea of parenthood. While you're out there kicking baby ass (don't fret- not literally) and taking names, Im just trying to keep my child alive and not get social services to knock on my door. So far my Spaz has sliced his hand open, shut himself in the closet AND pantry, and has managed to get his dad to say to me today "I saved our sons life today"- words every mother LOVES to hear. I even let him sleep with his head in his blankets and 5 teddy bears in his crib.

 So I found a book just for us unsuper moms:

I saw this on pinterest and laughed so hard at its irony. Hasn't everyone at one point or another in parenthood felt like shitty parents? When Spaz was 2 weeks old, my mother in law came to Fort Stewart while Sexy Beast was in the field training. She stayed with Spaz and I for about a week and would sleep in the room with me (on a separate bed- lets not be creepy) so that she could get up and help with the baby if needed. I was nursing and as close as one can be with their mother in law, I was not about to throw my engorged boobs out there for her gasp over. So when he wanted to nurse, I didn't turn the bedroom light on and would just use my phone as a little night light. While trying to adjust him holding my phone over so I could see, I dropped the phone on my poor little nuggets head! Now, okay, it was a little flip phone and he didn't cry, I sure did! I felt awful! Maybe thats why he isn't talking yet.......... But this is to reassure others, especially first time moms- babies are parent proof. Don't go letting them stick your bobby pins in light sockets or bang their heads on the counter like a pickle jar, but don't follow them around with pillows incase they fall- thats helicopter parenting and I was one (more on that later). Its ok that you don't bake pies by scratch. Its okay that your job(s) has you away 75% of the time. Enjoy that 25%. Its ok that when baby naps, you paint your nails or catch up on Duck Dynasty. Its ok that on some of your time off, you want to go out with the girls. Hell, you deserve that time off when you can take it cause its okay to say PARENTING IS HARD WORK.


Your children are the most wonderful little creatures you will ever come into contact with- even if you get to meet an elephant face to face (you know who you are). Even if you get to squeeze a baby tiger without it eating your face, squeezing your little toddler with their chubby arms wrapped around you calling you mama or daddy is by far ten thousand times better. They will never hold a grudge until they become hormonal little assholes... They'll never pee on your carpet, unless you let them roam without a diaper... And I promise you that after children, you will never be the same because having a baby and keeping him alive this long has been by far the best thing I have ever done. And I married a pretty dang good lookin' man, folks.

So heres to you shitty parents! The ones who didn't breast feed for 5 years. Who don't make homemade pies every day, keep your house spotless and still find time to work on those abs while building your deck. Shitty parents, you're still doing great. You will continue to do great. And you're kids will look back and think "my parents were super parents"...

As a side note- you parents who really can do it all. Keep it up. You are a phenomenon that the world could use more of :)

**This post is dedicated to a special lady I know who tries to do it all while parenting as just one. You are a wonderful mom. You work really hard to give him the best and you are raising quite an amazing little man even though its hard to do it alone. Don't let the super moms get you down, he needs a sane mother.**