Happily Ever After

Do you remember the Disney movies?

"and they lived happily ever after"

But honestly, what happened after the wedding? Did Sleeping Beauty gain 50 pounds from pregnancy? Did Prince Charming leave the door open when he peed or eat pistachios in bed? Did Arial leave her tampon box in the bathroom for some reading material for Prince Eric? Well if this were real life than yes..

To all those newlyweds, the honeymoon doesnt last forever. Now Im not going to sit here and write about the downside of marriage. Thats not it at all. But I think alot of married people my age forget this. They think once that spontaneous, cant keep your hands of eachother, google eyed moments are gone that there is nothing. Thats not what marriage is. Marriage is growing together. Its finding out that he/she isnt perfect and it makes you love them more. Men are not perfect. Even Channing Tatum and Jake Gyllenhaal. Surprised- i know. Did you know that there is a part of the brain in a man that was never fully evolved? Its the part that controls what they hear and see. For example. When Beast sees the bathroom, he sees a cave. A dirty, dark, cave. When he hears me say, "Lets do some laundry, cook dinner, and watch a movie." He hears, "Ill do the laundry, you warm up dinner, and pick out a scary movie that will make me not want to sleep for a month." Its not his fault ladies. Its evolution. Well, antievolution.
*I should side note for the Sexy Beast's sake that he does do the laundry. Im just OCD so most the time I do it so I dont have a panic attack. But he tries. 

But at the end of the night after he leaves the door open in the bathroom, farts while watching movies, and folds the laundry the wrong way, he still rubs my back and kisses my forehead goodnight. He still holds my hand in public and hugs every day after work. He asks me how my day was and opens the door for me. He never walks infront of me and always behind to protect me. He's a great dad and good husband. Remember that even though men have their quirks, they are still the men we fell in love with. Its natural to grow and change as we grow up. We just have to remember to grow together, not apart.

Day 5

Ok.. So anyone who knows me, knows that my memory isnt worth shit.. Sorry for the pay-per-view channel language. I posted day 4 on the 26th and it is, what?, the 30th?! Easter eve?! Way to stay on top of things, Dani. No wonder I got knocked up one month into marriage. Oy.

So we will just pretend that I have been on schedule.
Day 5: What are 5 things that make you happiest right now. 

Aw this shall be fun. Less "damper dan" than the rest of the days.



Thing 1: Well this is just an obvious (well maybe not obvious to the beast since he's been on my spinal nerves lately) But thing 1 is definitely my boys. Its been hectic around here and it's causing little spaz to be a big spaz. But we have these miracle wonderful moments where he is calm and just wants to snuggle with mom and dad. Sexy Beast has been busy trying to process out of Fort Stewart. When I say process, its putting it mildley. The beast has been quite stressed with all the paperwork and gear cleaning. Sometimes it can carry over into the house and the tension rises. But he never forgets to hug me when he is home and kiss me goodnight. So I cant hate him. Maybe give him evil looks and smart ass comments. But no hate.

Thing 2: We move to Colorado Springs in less than a month. While it breaks my heart to think about being so far away from my mother and little brother that Iv lived with now for over a year, I know they will be ok. Well at least I hope so. Ill pray everyday for my mothers patience and for my little brother to not burn down the condo. You  may be laughing- but Im totally serious. Here's to good fire alarms in her place. Georgia can be beautiful but its never felt like a home to me. Thats partially my fault. I never really let myself warm up to it and make it a home. Thats something that is really important in a military family. You dont stay in one spot for very long. So, you better make a home where ever you are. The saying goes, "Home is where ever the boots are laying". Iv always liked Colorado and we have heard nothing but great things about the area. I love the snow. YES, I said it. After living in the south for this long, I have decided that I am an actual snow bunny. I will take it over the rising 100 degree humid summers here. So here's to a new start! And more day dreaming of my Colorado home. (plus it makes it 100 times better my really good friend, HK, is going to be arriving in the fall)


Thing 3: Writing in my blog. I know what your thinking- WHAT WRITING??! I know. Iv been slacking. Staying on schedule MAYBE shouldnt be in my resume. Though if Im getting paid for it, you know Im probably putting more effort into it. Is that bad? I do love to write. Especially about my chaotic life that has SO many great adventures coming towards it. Both scary and exciting. Please excuse me though. My mother just moved out of my house, my son is screaming and not talking so we are working on that, the Army has thrown up everywhere in my house (and we all know my OCD is screaming like a tortured SAW victim), and Im trying to pack our stuff slowly. Not to mention its Easter now.. Where did that come from?! I promise that I will write more and more interesting crap. Just wait til I crap open a bottle and talk about the brain of males. Did you know that theres a part of their brain that has never evolved from the caveman days? Its the part that controls what they see when they see a bathroom... more on that later.


Thing 4: Is it sad that I had to think about another thing that makes me happy these days?! Haha I think its more that my brain is drained rather than I dont have a fourth thing. Im sure Beast is praying this is true. Cooking and baking. I want to be the worlds best mom with the worlds greatest cupcakes.. and not gain a damn thing from eating them. Too much? Ok, Id like to master the art of baking and making a good meal. Iv been working on my cooking skills since I got married but it didnt really go into high gear 'til the beast was camping in Afghan land last year. When we first got married, I experimented with booze. Alot. I put wine into EVERYTHING. I cooked LOTS of pasta. And LOTS of banana bread. Well, we look back now and realize- it showed. Haha. We both love food and love homemade stuff so we have been working on finding recipes we love and making it less "guilty". One thing I wont mess with though- banana bread. Ill stick to my grandmas recipe. You do NOT mess with a recipe from grandma. She even makes her own flour. She puts me to shame. Sometimes I can cook great- but then my single lady worthless cooking skills kick in at times. I made chili once and burnt it. BURNT it. HOW do you burn chili? Talent. I also made zuccinni bread zuccinni mush once. Gross. I made mac'n'cheese for the bro a couple months back and well, forgot about it and by the time I got back to it, the water was gone. And the smoke alarm was going off. Lets see.. well if you ask Sexy Beast how my baking is, he would laugh and say 98.56% of my stuff tastes like pancakes. I have no idea how I manage it but it does. I tried making pretzels, buns, and bread- all tasting like salty nasty pancakes.. My great grandparents owned a bakery and were master bakers. So it would be real nice if that skill would kick in now please.


Thing 5: Well I know what thing 5 is.. But I cant say. You will have to find out later. For most of you, its not what you are thinking. That first thing that pops in your mind.. its not that. But its something great. And will eventually lead to that. That all made sense, you just dont know it did.

Here goes nothing

So for a while now I have been thinking about writing a blog. Or just writing in general. I seem to talk to myself quite a bit and hey sometimes I make myself laugh. Then it dawns on me Im all alone..... I have GOT to get a hobby. I have quite a bit to say (if you are a family member or an in-law or my dearest ball-and-chain then you know this oh too well.) I live with my mom and little brother (more on that another time). Im a recent wife with an amateur title of Army Wife. I have a 18month old going on 16 years old. And after almost 3 years of Georgia "bliss", I'm heading to Colorado to start all over again because theres no such thing as sitting still in the military.

This monster here is, G. We used to call him baby G but now he's pain-in-the-ass G-man (aka Spazz).
This is the man that most of these posts will be about. The ups and downs of young motherhood, raising a toddler and military brat, and doomsday later on- getting rid of the paci.... cue lighting and thunder.

This is the ball-and-chain (aka Nate Sexy Beast) that helped me create that little monster, and love of my life. More on him later. I dont believe in ranting about my husband but dont worry folks, you'll get to here his crazy and sometimes funny "jokes"

      Heres a preview--  When we arrived at our hotel getting ready to move into our first duty station together (2 days after we got married) Nate Sexy Beast comes out of the bathroom from 20 mins and says, 

"Hey Honey! You should drink more cranberry juice."    "Why Nate?"

"It helps menstruation and cramps"       "How in the hell do you know that?"

"I got bored in the bathroom and read your Tampon box. We should get more of those"

Welcome to marriage Mr. & Mrs. Kalk 

Bare with me since Im new at this "blogging thing" and sometimes technically challenged, and I will forewarn you, I may have a slight potty mouth at times...