Tis the Season to be… Fat.

Good lord, I'm 29 weeks and I still have a couple months left! Im sitting here in bed blogging- when I should be studying Anthropology- feeling like Im about to live the scene of Alien where the thing pops out of his stomach! Or was it his chest? Either way- this belly is so tight its about to split open, and my son is going to start screaming,

"free at last! free at last! Thank god almighty, Im free at last!" 

I woke up this morning trying to dress myself and begin bawling. All my t-shirt don't cover my belly anymore. My tanks barely cover.. and I'm only 7 months pregnant.. WHAT THE HELL. I may be carrying a litter. I do have a random obsession with getting Spaz a cat for Christmas. Currently the brat inside of me is kicking my ribs and squeezing my bladder. Can you call babies assholes? No? I didn't think so.

This pregnancy, however, has brought out the sweet side of my Beast. Here is some, "Sh*t my husband says"…

"You better get the XL.. for your growing belly."

"Wow you got huge over night."

"You came in like a wrecking ball.." (he was sleeping in the room)

"Weren't you about this big when you were full term with Spaz?"

"He is probably a nine pound baby."

"Ugh, I feel like I'm getting so fat." (I was holding a knife. He was feeling VERY ballsy. And almost lost them as well)

We taught Spaz about the baby in mommy's belly. But it has, of course, backfired tremendously on me. He now thinks everyone has a baby in their belly and that the belly is called a baby. So he goes up to women and points to the belly to say, "baby". I then have to embarrassingly explain he thinks bellies are called babies and that my son is in fact NOT calling them fat.

And Tis the Season to be jolly sick. Spaz has been fighting a cold for about a month. His immune system apparently is enlisted in the Canadian Military. And I, folks, have thrush. Yah, that crap breast fed babies get…. in the mouth. On the tongue. Its so gross… oh you don't know what it is? Its a yeast infection. IN THE MOUTH. You're welcome. Quick go throw up then come back. How did I get this you asked? Well my sweet mother thought it was fun to inform me its a precursor for HIV patients. Thanks, mom. Well since I just had my 3rd test last month, I can safely say THATS not it. And I haven't used any dirty needles lately. Even the Beast got sick. And he is the most pathetic one in the house when sick. But Ill let him get away with it since he only gets sick once a year. And nothing is cuter than a sick animal. Right?

Ugh, back to the grind of school work. Its never ending….. Anyone having trouble sleeping? Go pick up a Chem book.