Two Weeks

Well we have hit two weeks. Yes, I may or may not be crying. But these past couple weeks I have been crying over everything. Hormones at their best! Currently the Spaz and I are both sick with head colds. Lovely. A bunch of snot and whiney folks up in this biz snitch! My hours of sleep went from 5 a night to about 2… I have to paint on the under eye concealer these days. You know that feeling of waking up fresh and alive?

                                      I dont.

Ok so maybe I didn't do ALL that pre-baby Spaz. But you know I did paint this whole house and put it all together. And worked on our yard. Although I did manage to kill it. ALL. But the after is spot on. I forgot to even eat breakfast this morning. And I love food. Hence the 50+ pregnancy weight gain and just about an 8 pound baby at 36 weeks. Mmm cupcakes.

I wasn't going to nurse Baby Spaz but last minute I decide to go for it. I was tired of the judgmental looks and comments I got from almost everyone when I told them I didn't want to nurse. You'd think that I just said I plan on putting my child in a crib and locking the door for 12 months. I think that people these are way to judge wudgy on pregnancy and new mothers. Or parenting in general. The best decision is the decision YOU are happy with and that YOU feel good about. Love your child, feed him and protect him. There yah go. But how you do is no one else's business and they should keep it to themselves. However, I let what people said and how they looked at me get to me. So I will try pumping this time and if it works out then awesome. If not, Im not going to stress and cry for 5 months like I did with Spaz. I will do whats best for me and my child. So I have been exclusively pumping… Oy. Now I know what Ole' Bessy feels like.

This is how I feel now.

Spaz hates it. He panics every time I begin to pump.. He begs me, "Mama all done! All done!" He seems to be concerned that I am in pain. His sick sixth sense for his mama is unbelievable. This is the kid that followed me around the house asking if I was okay the night I was admitted into the hospital and began labor before I even knew it. The Beast is slightly concerned we may be nursing a scarring relationship between Spaz and I. Lets hope he doesn't have memories of his toddler years or his mothers knockers will be burned into his nightmares forever. Sorry Spaz.