Waiting for Weight

Being a woman means that at least one point in our lives being self conscious about our bodies- Especially our weight. I come from a very tall, blonde, curvy family-- Im a red head, I dont understand either. We also have very big opinionated mouths but thats a whole other issue. Im 5'9" and my weight has always been somewhat evened out- with maybe a little bit more junk in the trunk than most. But in high school I was picked on for being "chunky" and such. Even though I didnt feel that way, it didnt stop the whispers from hurting. I never looked at myself and thought I was an attractive young lady. This, sadly, is something I think 99% of the females in our society go through and high school can make or break your self esteem.

When I gave birth I weighed in at (drum roll please) 180 lbs... but let me tell you, while that may not seem like much to others, at a 5'9" stature with a starting weight of around 138lbs, and remember that its recommended to gain around 20-25 lbs for my status..... 40+ lbs didn't sit well with me or my doctor. I wasn't an unhealthy person, but I just couldn't stop the pounds from piling on. I remember my doctor even saying to me at one point, "sweetie, lay off the junk food"    Once again, the self-concious high school girl kicked in again. Isnt pregnancy suppose to be a wonderful time and a miracle? Besides the throwing up your guts and peeing every 5 mins, I liked being pregnant and wish I would have embraced the belly more. Maybe next time?

After having a baby vaginally, they don't tell you how much it really hurts to heal. Maybe it was the 2nd degree tears and stitches in places I didn't even know could tear but lord have mercy I couldn't even get into a bath tub without the help of my husband. Most women get the OK to exercise at the 8 week post partum mark but it took my about 3 months to be healed properly and ready to go. Of course- I didn't have ANY motivation to do so... They say that nursing full time will make the weight come off as well... WELL if thats true, I was definitely the exception. Go figure. But since my husband deployed 7 months after our son was born, the motivation to lose that weight was high and mighty.

 So for the next 9 months I worked out 5 days a week and hard. I even passed out at the gym once. NOT good. So ladies, just take it easy and go the pace you think your body needs. Work for goals that make YOU feel good. If you try and make someone else happy, than you will never be happy. The only person who you should satisfy is yourself (get that dirty mind out of here. Wrong blog. Thats not how you pronounce my last name, folks). As a mother, we rarely get to treat ourselves and we can get into a slump. Its hard to look in the mirror when your hair is a mess, you have spit up on your new blouse, you have no makeup on, and your child's hands are reaching so desperately under the bathroom door. But take time for yourself to make yourself feel good again. Whether its the gym, the bubble, spa, etc. Because a happy house has a happy mother in it. I know your body feels weird. After having a baby your body will never truley be the same. Your hips are spread, your abs or split open (which is the cause for the little pouch- did you know that?) and you have stretch marks in places you had no clue even stretched! Being a mother though- is worth it, I promise.

Today I work out 3-4 days a week at the gym. I do 20-30 mins cardio, 20 mins floor exercises, and 10 mins weights. The hardest part of starting to workout and make it a lifestyle was actually going to the gym and finding time. But even at home there are things you can do. I hit multiple plataues and multiples times where the weight on the scale went up. This is NORMAL. At some point you need to stop going by the scale and start going by your energy and even jean size. I know I will never get that super flat 12 pack I see on models. I know my cellulite will always be on my booty, and you know what? Im ok with that now. I know that my stretch marks may never fade but I dont want them too. These are all reminders that I went through 10 months of glory to build my perfect little boy. I may not have embraced the belly the first time, but I embrace my body now. It doesn't hurt that I have a Sexy Beast of a husband at home that tells me Im beautiful everyday.  Its taken a lot for me to decide to put a current more bare picture of me and my post baby stomach, stretch marks and all. But I know how hard it is for some and I want to let others know that it doesn't take a day to lose your baby weight or get into shape. It make take months or like me, almost 2 years. After I gave birth I was a size 12 in jeans and now at 18 months I am a 6.  I just want to keep up a healthy lifestyle for my next pregnancy.. Heres hoping itll help with the morning sickness. Remember that this is for YOU. That its hard work but you built a baby with no hands, so you can do anything- lets be honest! Its not about the number on the scale, its about health and happiness. (something I still have to remind myself everyday) Everyone is different so dont compare yourself to the girl next door who gained 15lbs through her whole pregnancy and left the hospital in her skinny jeans.. Embrace your belly for 42 weeks. Then embrace your body and health for ever after. Heres to your journey and mine.

My journey may have not been like yours but every journey is hard for each person. Its not about the number. Its about health and happiness. (and ok, making my husband say "HELLO wife".. im ok with that)